i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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