weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
