ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
