You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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