Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
