Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
