Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
