Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
