that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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