All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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