I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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