He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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