The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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