she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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