i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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