we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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