the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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