I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
