There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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