im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize