is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
