North Korea, Best Korea!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
