porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
