Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
