Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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