nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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