A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
