I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
did i just pee glitter
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
