gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
