what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
