Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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