I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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