how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
