Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
