too bad you live with your parents still
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
