You're so nebulous sometimes
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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