I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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