I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
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You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize