I wish I could teleport
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And then my night got REAL pukey
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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