We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize