just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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