there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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