We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
