Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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