What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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