sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
