It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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