I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
