it was like his penis was on wheels.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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