we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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