where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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