Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
