I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
