i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
