Non-Jews are for practice
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
