update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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