maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
