FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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